he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
