Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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