She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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