eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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