When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
3 2 1 whiskey
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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