Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
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I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.