you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize