I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.