I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
babies were throwing up all over the place
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?