there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
