why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
