stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
