Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
