it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
