Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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