I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
