Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
