I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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