If i come over, it means nothing
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
