Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He shit in the fireplace
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
