We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
