Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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