Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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