So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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