I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
