I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
