almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize