I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
