Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Randomize
