Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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