So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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