Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm like, not good at living.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
