She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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