What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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