it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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