I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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