Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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