So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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