I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
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There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize