remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
