Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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