someone owes me an orgasm
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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