Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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