Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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