I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
