Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
