I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
