Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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