No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
