Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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