Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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