Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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