I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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