I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
