So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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