hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
