She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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